Our recent ezine share included a mention of relationship break-ups. I felt to explore this with respects to responsibility, ‘split mind syndrome’ and subconscious/higher conscious collusion, as all can apply to any life area.
Depending on their nature, break-ups might be seen as happening by one person or the other (“Who broke up with who?”)
When anything goes a certain way, there will be participation at a deeper level, even if that isn’t conscious, or more accurately put, you are co-creating or allowing your experience at whatever level whether you are aware of that or not.
There are countless reasons why something may manifest as it does… beliefs, thoughts, and feelings, stories, patterns, shadows, a bigger picture, opportunities for healing and awareness, a lack of self-love, feeling undeserving, ego agendas, mistakes, misunderstandings, soul-level challenges, family patterns, fear, sabotage, old wounds, blessings in disguise… you name it.
Whether you have any clue as to why something is happening as it is, taking responsibility is a gift you give yourself, an antidote to blame and victimhood, and a catalyst for change. Responsibility brings freedom and empowerment.
A split mind is when parts of you are wanting different outcomes. You may have hidden parts of you that are resistant to or not wanting what you think you want.
You might not be aware of those hidden parts or the extent of any inner conflict around a situation, which could show up as things manifesting differently to your conscious desires or expectations.
Having a split mind about something could also show up as ambivalence, push-pull feelings or behaviour, avoidance, fear of commitment, sabotage, procrastination, distractions, projections, or attracting all the above in another as reflection.
You might have a split mind about something because deep down you know it’s not in your highest; a healthy instinctive resistance reflecting your inner knowing.
OR… you may resist something that is in your highest! This could be for any number of reasons.
Take love as an example. You may hold myths and negative beliefs about love, and/or fear negative consequences around love (hurt, rejection, betrayal, abandonment, being seen, dependency, loss, humiliation, jealousy, loss of freedom…).
You may feel you don’t deserve love, or fear the intimacy, vulnerability, commitment or visibility that comes with love. You may believe “love hurts” rather than “love heals” and so avoid it, or other limiting beliefs like “Everything I love I lose”, “I’m unloveable”, “Love never lasts”. Your ego will resist love too since love melts the ego.
SUBCONSCIOUS/HIGHER CONSCIOUS COLLUSION
I remember an experience around 15 years ago as an example of subconscious (and higher conscious) collusion around a relationship break-up.
I had been dating someone for a while and wasn’t sure if I wanted to commit to moving forward. In a semi-sleep state one morning I had a lucid dream-like experience in which I saw my boyfriend having a conversation with ‘another me’. This other me was discussing things on my behalf (referring to me in 3rd person). I believe this was my Higher Self. I saw them both nodding in agreement about something and heard this other me say “Yes, it would be best if that happened next.” I didn’t know what the “that” was they were referring to.
The next time I spoke with my boyfriend he told me he’d just met someone else and broke up with me.
I then remembered the dream. It felt like my higher conscious was in collusion with this outcome. I got to experience what it felt like to be on the receiving end of someone else’s non-commitment; a mirror of myself. It didn’t’ feel great. It was a valuable learning experience. I also got to realize that beneath my fear of commitment were other fears I got to address.