How are you with judgement in your life at this time?
Feeling judgemental – of another, or yourself? Feeling judged – by another, or yourself? Feeling guilty or ashamed for being judgemental? Feel anger, hurt or shame for being judged? Fearing being judged? Observing someone judging? Observing yourself judging? None of the above?…
Being judgemental isn’t the same as having an opinion. Judgement is a harsh energy and is shaming. When you judge you are condemning yourself/another for perceived wrongness/flaws/mistakes/you name it.
You offer an emotionally safe space
when you come from a non-judgemental place.
Outer judgements can be a way you project and discharge hidden self-judgements, guilt, shame, or anything else onto another (which may not be conscious and can be repressed and disowned). This is most obvious with someone unknown who is a blank slate for projections.
What anyone decides about someone they don’t know
can reveal what their shadows are hiding from show.
The less judging anyone is of themselves, the less they’ll be of anyone else. Don’t judge yourself for being judgemental! You can recognize, acknowledge, feel the feelings around judgement for release, forgive yourself/another if that helps, and let go (forgiveness can be a process that involves feeling and healing. Allow yourself that process).
Being non-judgemental isn’t about ignoring something, or your feelings, or not having an opinion, preferences, principles, boundaries, and so on.
You can witness and learn from what you are witnessing, take responsibility for your reality, attend to what’s going on within, and so on. If someone presses on a button, address the button that is being pressed on, which exists irrespective of anything pressing on it (and be why you may have attracted something pressing on it).
Present judgements can reflect unresolved past judgements or grievances (towards self/another) rearing their head through the present trigger. If you are secretly judging yourself, or a parent, or someone from your past, for doing or not doing, or being or not being [you name it], you may judge that when you encounter it in another.
Reflecting on the possible hidden agendas and pay-offs around judgement can also shed light. Not so long ago I shared the Carl Jung quote: “…Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.”
Judgement can be used as an attempt to oppress, or to feel ‘better than’ and/or avoid feeling ‘less than’, through the diminishment of another via judgement. Other agendas that can foster judgement include competition, jealousy, arrogance, control, as examples.
You can learn from your judgements about what’s going on inside. It’s interesting how people have differences with what they tend to judge. Is there something that particularly bugs you that you judge? What and why is that? Have you ever experienced those qualities in yourself, either now or in the past, thought or acted out, towards yourself or another?
Let go of self-judgement, feel any of the feelings around that judgement to free them if that helps, and accept, forgive and be loving and compassionate with yourself.
The more compassionate anyone is with themselves,
the more compassionate they’ll be with anyone else.
You’re human and you’ll make mistakes, which are an integral part of the human experience. Don’t fall into the trap of judging yourself for them, or taking on the judgements of others (the former obviously helping with the latter).
Your inner critic is not your true self’s voice.
Judgement compounds what is judged and keeps you captive to those traits. Love, acceptance, compassion, understanding and forgiveness, conversely, help you let go of and not be snared by judgement, and whatever doesn’t serve, be those beliefs, thoughts, feelings, experiences, people, situations, and so on. You can be mindful, process your feelings, make choices, etc.
Self and other forgiveness can also help as a way through with letting go of judgements against others or yourself, and returning to the truth of love and your loveability.
One way to help yourself love yourself is to forgive yourself.